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I believe I’m actually less than a week away from my release date. At least that is the rumor though I’ve had no official indication as such. Inmates aren’t afforded a lot of information, and then only on a need to know basis. I am careful not to get my hopes up. At first IContinue reading “25-3”


I assured them both that that was not my intention. “In fact,” I said, “it’s more of a comment on my own transformation. I think when you come in here, you’re mad, just plain angry. You hate the system, you hate the guards, and pretty much you hate yourself. Everything is negative. The book isContinue reading “24-2”


Solano County Jail is a “maximum security facility” but it, like all other man-made structures, breaks down occasionally. On Monday, the 7th of September 2009, the tower guard announced that it was just “brought to his attention” that the water would be shut off for about an hour between 10:00 and 11:00 am. In hisContinue reading “24-1”


I desperately wanted to know more about him. In our first encounter, Gene had shared with me exactly what had gone on: Gene worked as an auto mechanic, and Henry the shooter was a guy who “hung around the shop.” Gene didn’t really know him well but had seen him from time to time overContinue reading “23-6”


It was impossible to sleep that night. I had a project and it was all I could think of.  Purpose is everything. My intention was not to free Gene; on the contrary, there was something foul about the whole deal – beginning with the death of an innocent man. What I wanted was what IContinue reading “23-5”


I wanted to ask him how that made him feel, but I resisted. The object here was still to find out his story, not psychoanalyze him, at least not yet. “I didn’t hear you mention anything about sports or hobbies in Y.A. What do you like to do?” “Echo Glen was great. It was beautiful.Continue reading “23-4”


Those were the first group of questions racing through my head. They were the questions that I wanted answered immediately, but more importantly, they were the questions, at least the type of questions, that never get answered about the accused. No murderer is just a murderer. Nothing happens in a vacuum. The interesting part forContinue reading “23-3”


My mind continues to work overtime in anticipation of my future. I worry and obsess… and not in a good way. It is not about details, I’m not in that frame of mind; I’m more in a panic mode than anywhere near the clarity one needs to get into specifics. I’m not sleeping well andContinue reading “23-1”


Over the last few days I have found it difficult to read or to sleep. I alluded earlier to my own fears, but in the name of intellectual precision I might better characterize them as the fear of the uncertainties that lie ahead. I lack purpose. I have spent my life being overprepared for theContinue reading “22-7”


I’ve been waking up at about 0330 for the last couple of weeks with the same recurring nightmare. I don’t normally dream – I don’t think – but in this particular instance I’m always in a car. It’s a very stressful situation; I’m the driver and I’m alone. I’m particularly conscious of the driving lawsContinue reading “22-6”